Currently Reading Don't Waste Your Life By John Piper see related

Soooo... hello, friends. Been a while, eh? hehe. Well... summer's been pretty nice down here. What can I say.. it's San Diego. Niiiice. Too many things to list, but looking back on the past few months, what comes to mind? Work, finishing Revelle's Hum series, Banatao Lake Tahoe retreat, work, girls small group, IHOP funnel cake, Magic Mountain, work, Balboa Park, emails, carpool ministry, work, tennis, ELI 25th Anniversary, body worship, Tijuana daytrip, and umm... did I mention work?  Yea... been working a whole lot. But I love my job, so I don't mind it at alllll...

I did get a chance to fly up to San Frannie this past weekend though.  Besides the fact that it was abnormally sunny in the city [I was hoping for that classic dreariness characteristic of SF], it was an awesome trip back home. Honestly, I was a little anxious about it for several reasons. But, what could have potentially been a horrible weekend turned out to be not so bad... I'd even say grrreeat.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard you hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

I got to spend time with the family. My dad's been taking better care of himself. And everyone else is doing alright, too. I had a chance to hang with some Lowell buddies. Always great fun with them. Closure, too. I needed that, so thanks. I went to a few appointments while I was up there. Just makes me all the more aware of how feeble I am and how much I need Him. It's crazy how much of my life I have yet to really surrender.

One last thing. And this is a fun-fact for all friends, old and new, to enjoy...

Monday, August 29th in a little city called San Francisco, the sun beams brightly through the window of her father's SUV parked in the lot of the DMV. Two weeks shy of the expiration of driving permit #2 (or is it #3?), a little girl hears the words that make her want to burst with excitement... "You pass."  

Yes, yes... I finallllly have my driver's license, guys! Insane, huh? I know... it took me a while to schedule the darn thing... but I did it! Woohoo! Now, I get to use phrases like "Dangit! Gas prices went up again!" and ";laksdjfaslj That dude just cut me off!" and more importantly... "I can just take the golf-cart later!" ....  hehe. That last one is in reference to the rules of driving the little golf-carts around campus for work. That's right! No more passenger seat for me. YeAah!

Growing up. Moving on. I seriously need more sleep these days... but what else is new? Summer's almost ending... gotta make it count fo' sho!

Hope all is well, peeps! 'Til next time...

Peas,
Christine :)

 You peeps are way too cool for me. Thanks for the mad love, my friends!

xoxo, Chris :)

yeAah!

Currently Playing Any Given Thursday By John Mayer, John Mayer see related

edit: Please buy this DVD. John Mayer is one of the most awesome performers I've seen live. I'm not so much a fan of his voice as I am of his insane-O guitar-playing skills. His solo in Covered In Rain is amazing. So much passion. I love it!

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 Hi, guys! hehe. How's it going? Great, I hope. As for me, I'm really relieved that my third year here at UCSD has finally come to a close. It's crazy, you'd think I'd be ecstatic about it, considering how tough it was for me. But, I was actually kinda sad to see it all end... not because I wanted it to drag on longer [as if it weren't long enough], but I guess because in my mind things were going to end up better. So, I guess I was a bit disappointed in myself... that I didn't end my tumultuous year with a bang. I felt like I kept making the same mistakes over and over (and over) again. But, I'm fine now. I had some really great conversations with the most awesome people and heard some really encouraging messages in the past two or so weeks...

One in particular. Having lunch with one of my best friends, Mel, I told her how frustrated and unsure I was (am) about my future and all that. I seriously don't know what to do with myself sometimes... school-wise, attitude-wise, heart-wise. She mentioned Proverbs 3:5-6. And we talked about how insanely difficult it is to trust. And as many of you might know, I'm someone who's had some serious trust issues in the past. But, I guess this is a different kind of trust. It's certainly worth working on. And I am. He's incredibly gracious.

Things are definitely going great these days. I scored myself an awesome awesome job with awesome awesome people. And it's full-time, so I'll be making some much-needed $$$. I'm working for the Extension International program at UCSD. And loving it. Ryan and I are having caRAzy fun up there.  

Things at the apartment are insanely crazy, too. Cat, Pauline, Caroline, Cindy [& JohnYao ] moved in right next door! Lillers just moved into our living room for the summer. Meggie's hangin' out in my room for this week. We're in the process of figuring out how much to charge Brian for rent now. [haha. JK She-Man]. And of course, the boys downstairs make these days just lovely. I'm amazed more and more each day by everyone here in SD. I dunno... I do love my San Francisco... but wow.

Summer's gonna be great, guys! I know it. Check out what I've been up to in just these first few days...

Chill Night @ the Lieu residence. Here's the wonderful Junior class of LIFE. Man, we're a huge class... and not all of us were even there. [See new profile pic]  hehe. Two things I noticed that cracked me up: Tim Hong's expression and Austin's crazy hair.

[Excuse the post-Cell final scrubby-ness & Thanks for the pic, Diana!]

Warren Graduation. Here are us lovely CEC gals :)

And here's us by the stage, giving our seniors some mad lovin'!

And what's a graduation without the guys dog-piling BC

hehe. Congrats, seniors! And take care, my loves!

xoxo, Christine :)

Simple Things- Urrsher. Listen to it. It's good!

haha... I went three days without Xanga-ing. (shaking head) Cat... it's not lookin' good, is it?

Alright alright... so I've been told that my entries are getting a little too... "philosophical" . hehe, it's okay... I've been thinking the same too actually. Although, I will say that writing those kinds of entries is somewhat therapeutic for me. I'm not usually good with expressing myself when I need to and I'm also not the most articulate person either. So, it's nice to be able to wind it all down nicely in an entry. But yeah... I guess Xanga is more about keeping people updated with what's really going on in my life.

Soooo... what's been up with me? Well... I'm starting to look for a new job. It's weird. I haven't put myself 'out there' in maybe a year and a half. Making myself vulnerable to rejection is pretty unnerving. But, I'm really excited to start something new. And even though I gained some really good experience at the Hampton lab, it's time to go. I had doubts the other day when my boss said he had a whole line of undergrads along with two post-docs aching to join the lab. For a split second, I thought maybe I was making a mistake in deciding to quit altogether. I mean... how often do you get to work so closely with such a well-known scientist? Maybe I should stay at least through the summer??? ...But then I came to my senses... and all was right in the universe once again. I've been at the Hampton lab for too long. No. Way too long. All the lost sleep, all the tears, all the stress. Yes, it's definitely time to go. So yeah... if you guys know of any jobs you think I'd like (that is, any non-bio, non-science, non-research-related jobs), please let me know! Thanks!

In other news, several of us have been taking hip hop at Rimac this quarter. It's crazy fun even though the stuff is kinda easy. hehe. I think there are seven of us LIFE-ers in that class plus Brian/She-Man. It's definitely something I look forward to every week. Exercise-wise... (...exer-wise  haha, sorry) I haven't been too good about working out. Unwanted chunks are beginning to form in unfortunate places. haha. Hip hop's not really doing it for me. But, oh! after Cell Bio today, She-Man and I went to the Main Gym to find a room we could practice hip hop in. They were all being used, but we saw some volleyballs just lying on the floor in the gym. Turns out it was a rec class, so we crashed it, and peppered a bit 'til the instructor kicked us out. haha. It was fun while it lasted. Whenever I start playing volleyball again, I get all happy. Coincidentally, my old middle school friend, Lisa Chuuuu, invited me to join her IM team last week. I wasn't able to make their last game, but hopefully next time. That would be pretty cool if I started playing again.

Umm let's see.. school? hehe. Next subject, please! ...No, it's not that bad. I could for sure work harder. But, you know how it is. Spring quarter laziness plus work schedule plus countless other distractions ... yea yea, I could definitely try harder. I'm still thinking about med school. In fact, I went to a workshop a few weekends ago that really made me realize how gratifying a profession it would be. I'm thinking it might be something I'm passionate about... even though it doesn't quite show in my grades. Either way, I'm not applying this year because my Psychology major calls for me to be a 5th year for at least a quarter. So, it's good that I have that extra year to prepare my application. I'm also thinking about what I could do with psychology... eh, we'll see what happens. No rush.

Speaking of no rush, us LIFE-ers babysat for some of the parents at our church this Saturday. And man! Babies are hard work! It's one thing to take care of one kid for a few hours... but eighteen of them at once??? haha. We were pretty worn out. It was really fun, though. We fed them mac n cheese and had a bunch of activities for them to do. Now, I know all kids are wonderful in their own special ways, but I couldn't help but have my favorites... hence the profile pic.  Natasha felt kinda left out because the slightly older girls thought she was too young to play teacher with them (MJ, Adam, and I were the students, by the way) so I gave her some extra love. Man! They're too cute! I think it's time I got me one of those, shoooooooot.  haha. Just kidding. Seriously, no rush.

Hmm... well yeah. That's pretty much what I've been up to. Not much going on. Just kinda playing it by ear these days. Been hanging out with some oh-so-cool peeps. And then there's Yahoo! Graffiti... Diana and Cynthia! haha. But yeah...you know, just going with the flow. It's more fun that way.  Got shtuff goin' on this weekend fo' sho'! Got some cool-beans summer plans, too. But, more about that later. I must shower now. JenFoo did something to our microwave just at first and now there's some toxic-smelling stuff filling the apartment and getting all up in my hair. Gross, huh? I'll end on that note.

hehe. No no... I'll end with this pic I took last night from my balcony. Myrenee, JenFoo, Liser, and Brian can attest to you that I spend a lot of time there snapping shots of our great view. I thought this one was cool because you can see the moon! Well, sorta... it's that thing in the sky that looks like a fingernail.  haha. Alrighty, enjoy, my dears!

Currently Playing Final Straw By Snow Patrol see related

So, I was "studying" at the SunGod Lounge earlier this week, got distracted... and I began to think... (what else is new...)

There were maybe fifty of us diligent UCSD-ers doing our thing at the SunGod Lounge... reading, eating, chatting, using the computer, or in my case, zoning off into space contemplating what I'll name my second daughter. Most of us have never met and probably know nothing of where the other came from and what he/she's been through. All we might know at the moment is that whatever the circumstances that currently exist in our lives, however we each grew up, wherever we all came from... it all somehow led us to this common point, the SunGod Lounge on Tues. May 3rd at about 5:30pm. I could, however, come up with a random story about say... the dude sitting across from me...

He's wearing flip flops, so I'm thinking he's an easy-going type of guy. Not too into his looks, but would rather be comfortable. He's got cleats hanging from his backpack, so he probably has baseball practice in a few hours. He's surfing the internet and smiles to himself out of nowhere. Probably thinking of something his girlfriend said to him earlier that morning. (Because he's too cute to not have a girlfriend). Now, here he comes heading in my direction. Looking for someplace to take a quick nap. He's tired, so maybe he had baseball practice earlier this morning instead. Hmm...

Well, I suppose I could come up with an infinite number of stories, but the point is that I don't nor may I ever know what his life consists of or what his past is like. But, we all have lives and we all have pasts. We've all been hurt and we're all guilty of hurting others as well. And we can't change what's done and over with. We can, however, influence the world as we know it right now. For example, I could have totally made an impression on that baseball dude's life by throwing my psychology book at him and injuring his head or something. Our lives intertwine. And from there begins the chapter of his life story entitled Christine: Psycho With A Psych Book. (I would never do that, by the way). At the same time, we have no control over what changes may come our way. Say the cute baseball dude suddenly turned to me and asked me for a cigarette. From there begins a chapter in my life story entitled Cute Guy At SunGod Lounge: Not So Cute After All. So, in that sense, we don't have control. Not to say that our lives are largely governed by other people... in fact, none of us really has that kind of power. So, what...??? I guess all I'm saying is that our lives are constantly changing and we just never know what's in store for us next. We can plan and predict all we want, thinking we know what's best for us, but really... how could we ever know for sure? Sometimes we dwell on seemingly bad decisions we've made in the past, but who are we to say those decisions were "bad" in the first place? That is, without an understanding of the many parallel paths that have yet to cross ours? Thing is... we can't see the big picture. So, quit stressin'!

Jeremiah 29:11

It's humbling to realize that after all the planning, all the writing, all the thinking... I don't know squat about life. Here I am... this twenty-year-old walking as if I know where I'm going and planning my life like I know what I really want when, in fact, I know nothing more about my future as I do of yours or your mother's. Just when I think I have it all figured out... things change, plans fail, shtuff don't work.

It's frustrating to see that, ain't it? To see your life get so complicated. To see yourself get so complicated. I don't think I took it very well. hehe. You know what I did? I attempted to make my life as  s i m p l e  as possible. Class? More like naptime for me these days. Work? I had forgotten what my coworkers looked like. During my breaks, you definitely wouldn't see me studying. You'd see me wandering about campus hoping for someone to bump into. Some people I'd bump into more than others . But yeah... I really liked it for a while. Being a slacker. Just kinda going through the hours with no obligations whatsoever. No plans, no failed plans, no disappointment... right? Oh, so wrong. It turns out this "plan", which consists of making no plans at all, still leads to disappointment. ...And I have the grades to prove it. I guess I have yet to find my balance on this tightrope of a life.

Taking your advice
And I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing

So, I have a new plan. It's called Stop Being An Idiot. A good plan... for what it's worth. It consists of many things... mainly withdrawing the false hopes I had for a "happy ending". Not to sound pessimistic. I don't mean it like that at all. I just don't think there really is such thing as an "ending". Aren't our lives a flow of events that continue to change whether we like it or not? So why place our hopes in things... earthly things... that are likely to fall apart in the long run. They say life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Think of everything we might be missing if we're too busy waiting for that so-called "happily ever after". By the way, who's to say Cinderella and Prince Charming didn't have issues after they married? I wouldn't be suprised if Prince Charming spent a few days sleeping on the couch because he refused to take the trash out or something. hehe. Imagine that.

Okay... what the heck am I trying to say??? haha. Sorry I'm all over the place in this entry. That's what happens when you try to put five days worth of thoughts into one post. Ohh, the importance of xanga.  To think I don't update enough... ha! But yeah... I guess... all I'm getting at is this...

There's just no use fussing over anything, good or bad. Because it's all temporary. Nothing's static. And things happen unexpectedly. In a way that we might never understand. But for a reason nonetheless. It's impossible right now to see how each event factors into everything. Someday I'll look at my life in retrospect and say "Oh, so that's what that was all about." Quite a ride this life is... why not enjoy it while we're still on it? Take each opportunity for all that it's worth, but don't be suprised if things don't turn out how you thought they would. More importantly, stop dwelling. Keep moving. Forward. But not so fast that you lose sight of where you are altogether. It's tricky. And it still blows my mind how much I have to learn. But I guess there's always something new to learn, right?

So what now? ...hmm... You got me. I'm done thinking about it. I could sit here and think about life or I could go out there and live life. That might be a line from SATC. Hmm... I think I think too much. Go me.

d o n e  t h i n k i n g  amazing, huh?

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some randomness: I am missing this bunch right now. The infamous satc/crepevine/sf girls... plus little Joshua. hehe.  Happy 21st to you May babies [Alice, Sue May, Em!] !!!

[this pic was totally taken off of em's website ]

And I had to post this pic too because I love this girl so much SO MUCH I could cry! My favorite Anna Lam-dorko who just turned 21, tooooo! She told me the other day that "everyone's complicated". She's smart and cool. haha, sorry Anna.

more randomness: Babies are hard work. Yahoo! graffiti is great. I can't wait to be 21!